Wow!

I didn't blog at ALL last month.

How remiss of me!

So thiis is going to be another one of those catchup posts where I ramble incoherently LOL. If you read my blog then you're used to those. If you haven't been here before; then I'm sorry!

So......let's start with the socks. I am up to speed with the A-Z sock challenge and I have two more pairs left to knit; Y and Z.

I have knit two extra pairs (I think) for myself, a pair for Claire, done a test knit and I'm currently test knitting another (knee high) sock.

I'm still planning on taking the 52 pair plunge next year - this is going to leave me with little, if any, time to knit (or spin) anything else! Which is a shame as the Double Knitting technique is trying to seduce me at the moment.

Have you guys seen this (rav link)?

It's totally amazing and I really really want to knit it! There's another one as well which is cats eyes that I want to knit too!

I was tempted for a while to blow the 52 pair plunge off for a year, but those rascally socks just keep calling to me!!

OK.......what else.......Alex is still battling his depression, he sees a doctor regularly and is on medication. The crashes are still bad, but he's trying his best to cope with them. He has recently decided to stay away from Facebook which I think is a really good thing as it was the root of a lot of his problems!

Kyle is now living next door with my mother - he had a huge fight with Alex and it descended into physical violence which left Alex covered in scratches and bruises and a slight concussion! We decided that him staying next door for a while would be the best thing for everyone concerned and him being there also puts my mind at rest; my mum turns 70 next year and I worry about her being on her own!

I got up one morning and went to turn on the vivarium light - which is the first thing I do every morning - and I noticed one of the vents on the back of the vivarium had been popped out. My stomach dropped and I immediately opened the viv and checked the hide.

Daffydd was gone!

We have searched the house, but we can't find him anywhere. I'm hoping that he has curled up somewhere and is sleeping as the house has been chilly, but now I've put the heating on he may still appear!

I am in the process of introducing Star & Frank to Albert at the moment, they seem completely uninterested in each other, so I shall put them all in together this week! Fingers crossed Albert doesn't eat them!!!

Dreadlock update: My locs will be 5 months old in a couple of days and are doing very well! The pink didn't hold so well, so I overdyed the whole lot with purple a week or so ago. I like the way it looks, but my poor scalp is suffering from the way I've abused it!

Forgive the state of me in this picture, I was shattered!

On Thursday; Mum, Alex, Isis and I packed ourselves into the camper and drove up to Kerry's. We camped outside Kerry's on the Thursday night then on Friday 2nd December, we left Alex and Isis with Kerry while Mum and I caught the train into London.

We met up with Claire and Steve and headed into the Royal Albert Hall to watch the Aegon Masters Tennis!

I saw Pat Cash, Henri Leconte, John McEnroe, Mark Phillipoussis, Andrew Castle, Mansour Bahrami, Peter McNamara, Fabrice Sontoro, Jeremy Bates, Richard Krajicek, Mikael Pernfors, Virginia Wade, Annabel Croft & Tim Henman.

It was absolutely awesome, we watched the afternoon session then Claire and Steve left, Mum and I stayed for the evening session which was originally billed to be John McEnroe vs Ivan Lendl, but Lendle pulled out so Richard Kracijek took his place. It was a really good match.

Unfortunately, the two matches in the afternoon both went to tie-breaks, so the invitational doubles with Bahrami (the main reason I had gone) was only on for half an hour as they had to prepare for the evening session. I was rather gutted, but got some fabulous photos.

I'll post them tomorrow when I can get access to the computer - it's one of the few things I don't like doing on the iPad LOL

But I did get this fab shot of Mansour Bahrami which I will post for you for now :D

So.......what've you been up to?

Doctor Kyle

A year or so ago, I don't remember now, I offered to make Kyle a Doctor Who scarf. We decided to the Season 18 scarf, but we couldn't find the correct colours, so Kyle chose black, red and a sort of mustard colour.

I got knitting and I must've got about halfway through it before the garter stitch drove me absolutely batty with boredom and I put it away.

Kyle didn't say anything at the time as it was summer, but as Christmas approached and it got colder he voiced concerns to my mum that I wasn't going to get it finished. She nagged me and I got to work.

I forced myself to put down my current shawl, put my spinning wheel away, ignore my spindles and knit mindless garter stitch.

It went on and on and on and on and...well, you get the idea!

But, last week, I finished!

This thing is humongous! As you can see it stretches across the room and then some (the pic with Alex was taken while I was still knitting it!)

I've wrapped it and put it under the tree. I can't wait for Kyle to open it and model it on Christmas Day!

Breakdown?

Weird day.

Everything started off great. I got up and we packed some stuff into the camper for out holiday next week (we're going camping in Scotland).

Then Alex and I went into town to return some library books and get some shopping. While there we got a new string for his guitar and put a deposit down on something better quality.

I bought some dye - I dyed my hair purple a few weeks ago and now it's a dull red colour.

When we got home I had a house full of teenagers. I had a bit of a moan that Matt was upstairs in his room when he was supposed to be downstairs (he'd agreed to look after Isis) and that they'd been smoking in the porch with the window open instead of the door - again!

Then Matt dyed my hair and we watched the premier of the new season of Doctor Who.

Eventually Matt and his friends all went out, I dyed Alex's hair (plum tint) and ordered a takeaway, took Mum to work, took Isis & Kim for a quick walk.

When I got back, I sat down to work on my crochet hexagon blanket and almost immediately Alex asked if I'd give him a hand to change his bed.

This is something we fight about on a regular basis - I don't mind helping him, but during the day! Asking me in the evening just starts a fight, we can never find a sheet to fit, or a duvet cover (I'm woefully short on bed linen now everyone seems to have a double bed, but I've got enough single bed sized for a hospital!). But I sighed and agreed to help him.

When I got up my sewing needle disappeared down between the cushions.

I just flipped!

I pulled the sofa out, hunted around, vacuumed up all the dust that had accumulated under there (where does it come from?), screamed at Alex who screamed back at me.

Eventually, Alex took himself off for a walk to calm down and in a fit of temper I pulled the king sized sheet off Matt's double bed (he'll get it in the neck when he gets home!) and put it on Alex's bed (pulling my back in the process!). Alex had the grace to thank me when he got home.

Then next thing I know (I don't even know how it happened), I was screaming at Kyle about how he doesn't keep his cats litter tray clean enough and that his room is disgusting and smells due to the litter tray. Kyle was screaming at me because I'd refused to let him have friends over to stay while we're away (I don't really know these ppl and I don't want them in the house unsupervised).

He cleaned his tray, I put a duvet cover on Alex's bed, Kyle vacuumed his room. The vacuum made a funny noise, Alex & I went to investigate. Kyle had vacuumed up a piece of paper and caused the cleaner to make an 'elephant noise'.

I was saying something to Kyle about how you can't vacuum up certain things because it clogs it and I sat on his bed.

Right onto the (full) cat water bowl.

I just went ballistic, threw my slippers over the banister, stormed downstairs, stripped my leggings and underwear off (I had a cold wet bum!).

Then I sat down, picked up Isis....and I cried.

I cried and sobbed and sobbed.

Kyle came in and apologised and I was crying so hard, I couldn't breathe properly.

Then Alex came in and gave me tissue and hugged me. Then he persuaded me to get dressed and we went out for a walk.

I don't feel any better and I feel awful for yelling at them both.

I'm having one of those 'I'm a single parent and I'm drowning' moments, I think. It's very very hard, you get very little thanks, it's always your fault, they never seem happy.

There's so much negativity.

So why do we soldier on? Because I love them. I may not always like them, but I love them. I expect they hate me most of the time, but I hope they love me sometimes too. There are moments, a shared laugh, watching them grow, learn and become their own person. Those moments that your kids - the same kids you hated half an hour ago for making you sooooo mad - they remind you that they're the centre of your world and life would be so very different without them.

I don't know why today happened the way that it did, but it did and I can't change it. I've apologised to both Kyle and Alex. I've cried all over Isis. My back hurts. My head hurts.

Today was one of those weird days, where it started out great and someone flicked a switch somewhere and turned everything upside down.

I hope tomorrow is better.

It hit the fan - again

You may remember my son, Kyle, having a break down in August.

Since then, he has been thrown out of college because they can't assure the safety of other students and the staff.

On Monday we saw a psychiatrist for an assessment. It all seemed to go well, although it was obviously upsetting for Kyle to discuss losing his temper and people being hurt as a result of his actions.

After we left, Kyle saw his friend Sophie and went off with her.

Everything seemed fine, so I went off to knit night as usual.

I didn't even make it to the pub! I got a phone call 15 minutes after I'd left; Kyle had flipped out and yelled in Alex's face. Matt intervened in an effort to stave off a fight and Kyle attacked him.

He caught Matt in a headlock and during the struggle; Matt was thrown against the doorframe. He banged his head and blanked out for a second or two.

He was shaken by the time I made it home (Kyle was nowhere to be seen), but appeared fine. I considered calling the hospital but decided it was unnecessary after Matt consumed half the kitchen without vomiting!

A Landmark in History, A Handspun Clapotis & New Lace!

On Friday, my son turned 18!

Wow!

18 years old - that's incredible! I'm now the mother of an adult!

It's actually a very scary thing, being the parent of an adult. You don't stop worrying, they're still your baby and your life still revolves around them. Nothing really changes, except he's now legally old enough to buy cigarettes and beer and I have to get his permission to discuss personal matters with someone else!

This is what he woke too:

For his birthday he got some New Rock boots.

A new mobile phone

And - the biggest surprise - 25 years of Wrestlemania!

He was really pleased with his presents.

Mum and I took him out for lunch and that night we ordered a Chinese takeaway!

In other news.......I ran out of handspun on my Clapotis! Now I've got to make the decision to either frog and reknit, or to just order more fibre, spin it up and then knit that! *Sigh*

I have just joined the Seasons of Lace though. I have decided to knit the Sampler Stole from Victorian Lace Today and in true 'me' fashion, I'm knitting the biggest one and I'm knitting it in purple!

24 hours of hell

Last night was our usual knit night. I went along and all was going well until about 10pm when Jess sent me a text to say that they'd all probably be at their Nan's when I got back.

I called to find out why as my mother only lives next door and Alex told me that Kyle had completely flipped out, grabbed Jess around the throat and shoved her. He said that Kyle had then left the house.

I told him to get Nan around until I could get home and I left knit night.

When I got home, everyone except Kyle was sitting in the lounge. Jess said her shoulder hurt where he'd shoved her; I had a look but it looked ok to me. Mum went home and I sat with the others and we told jokes and chatted to pass the time until Kyle got home.

After about an hour Mum buzzed through on the phone and said that he was there so I went next door. I tried to talk calmly to him, but he was well past that by then. He was screaming at me and crying.

Then he got right in my face. I raised my hand up and told him to step back as I was still sitting in the chair and he slapped my hand away.

I had to leave. I knew my being there wasn't helping at all and even though I was being as calm as I could, my presence was winding him up.

I sat in my lounge for about half an hour and cried, more from shock than anything, then went back next door.

Kyle was sobbing at this point and it was then that I made the decision to contact the Mental Health team. They couldn't send anyone out but said they would get someone to call me the next day. They also said that if he kicked off again then I should call the police for our own safety and that it wasn't a punishment. I told him that I couldn't do that because Kyle would see it as a punishment! He said "Well we'll deal with that at a later date." I couldn't believe it, as far as Kyle is concerned; bad people go to jail and that's it, police don't take good people away and if I called the police on him then he would believe he was no good for the rest of his life!

I ended up giving him a couple of Alex's bio-melatonin just to help knock him out. He'd calmed down by this point and was quite happy to take them, have a hot shower then go off to bed. Everyone else went to bed shortly after.

Well, except for me...I sat here shell shocked until around 5am!

The following day I was woken by Graham the builder who is replacing the fascia boards under the bit of roof that sticks out around the house and is painting everything else. The kids all slept for another couple of hours and when they got up, everything was ok.

Mental Health called me around 10am this morning. He was astonished that Kyle was never offered anything like counselling or support after he was diagnosed with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and recommended I make a start by visiting our GP.

I phoned the doctors surgery and at first they wanted to give us a sit and wait appointment because, apparently, there was nothing else available. Until I told them that MH had told us to get an appointment, then we were miraculously squeezed in for a double appointment at 4pm.

I stayed at home today; I was actually waiting for a converter plug so that I can plug my Mac into my new monitor (which never arrived!).

I heard a bang at one point and thought Graham had fallen off his ladder, I went into the hallway, but I could see the ladder through the glass door propped against the house so I didn't investigate further.

About ten minutes later, Mum rushed through saying that there might be "big problems" outside. I went out to discover that the string on the paint pot had broken. The paint pot (quite full, no lid) fell to the ground and white paint went everywhere! Even over the wall and onto a passing black car!

Thankfully, there was no accident and once we'd hosed the guys car off he was so nice about it he wouldn't even accept money to take the car to the car wash!

Graham has cleaned the garden up as best he can, but I think it'll be a whitewash the next few times it rains!

I took Kyle to the GP, not one I had seen before, he talked to Kyle a bit, asked me some questions, informed me that Kyle's diagnosis hadn't been recorded in his notes (our wonderful NHS at work!) and then said he'd refer Kyle to CAMHS (Child and Adult Mental Health Service) and I should hear from them in the next few days!

I'm absolutely shattered, obviously I didn't sleep much. After getting home from the doctors surgery, all I've wanted to do is sleep.

I did some spinning in the garden, the sun was shining and it was lovely. I think it's helped calm me down slightly too!

I raided my money box yesterday. I was initially saving this for iKnit, but I don't really need any yarn after Ravelry Day and I would like some more fibre so I'm taking it with me this Saturday to Fibrefest!

I have £150!!

Fibrefest! Here I come!

Square 3, Kyle @ college, on the floor...

Here's Square 3 by Marian Tabler, took me a while longer this one, couldn't get the gist of the pattern and had to rip back every now and then. But, I finally finished it about 2 o'clock this morning. I'm aiming for a square a day -- I have no life lol.

Kyle started college proper this week, he seems to be enjoying it although we have had some backlash tantrums at home. This is nothing unusual, just his way of venting due to the huge change he's gone through with his routine this year. Leaving high school and starting college must be pretty scary for him!

I've started sleeping on the floor, I've been doing so since Monday night to see if it helps at all with my back…I must be totally honest and say that I do think there's a slight improvement, although I was bloody cold the first night - but I added an extra duvet and I've been fine since…as you can see Isis (who has had all her coat chopped) loves going to bed!