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Monday, 17 October 2011


I bank with Lloyds TSB. I have banked with them for years! I have several accounts, the kids all have accounts and I have a credit card - all with Lloyds TSB.

Several years ago, Matt wanted to start using his account when he started college. Due to the fact it hadn't been used; the bank had registered it as dormant. All they required was us to attend the bank with some form of identification.

We went down, showed his passport, a button was pressed and Hey Presto! the account was working again.

Same thing with Alex a year or so later.

This year, Jess has started college and needs an active bank account. One Monday (about 3 weeks ago) I went into the main branch on the Island with Jess and her passport.

Naturally, we ended up dealing with the idiot who didn't seem to know what he was doing! He took a scan of J's passport and then spent ten minutes farting about on the computer and phone before telling us that the department he needed to speak to were busy. He said he would sort it and call us later that afternoon to let us know what her account number was for college.

He didn't ring.

I stormed back into the bank the following afternoon, he was chatting and laughing away with colleagues. I marched straight up to him and declared "You didn't phone!"

He had to go and find the paperwork and then spent another 35 minutes on the phone and computer (while dealing with other bank staff who kept dropping things off at his desk) before telling me that Jess needed to go back into the bank so that he could call the correct department! I stood and gaped at him for a bit before reminding him that she had been in the bank the day before and he'd told us he'd sort it!

But no, she had to go back in herself. She was told when she went in on the Friday that her account number, debit card and new PIN would be sent straight out and would be with her on the Tuesday.

Friday we went back in to get a print out of her account number and demand to know why her card hadn't turned up! He clicked a button then told me it was on it's way.

I was not at all impressed with this.

Today I received my credit card statement. My minimum required payment for last month was £159.54. I pay £50 a week and have done for years and years.

This month my last payment of £50 went in after the 'pay your money by this date'. So I was £9.54 short for two days.

They charged me £12!

I immediately called them and asked if it could be removed as it was last time the calender and my payments didn't match (about 2 years ago) only to be told "We don't do that."

"Oh yes you do!" says I and we argued for about ten minutes before he graciously, like he was doing me a fucking favour or something, removed the £12 charge - he said "We'd only do it once in a while though and we won't do it again for at least 6 months". I told him that it had been a damn sight longer than 6 months since this had last happened, he said that's why he'd removed the charge and that I must pay the minimum amount required each month.

I yelled at him and told him if he got a calculator out, he'd see that I've actually paid more most months (especially in a 5 week month) and maybe a big top bank like them should learn to be a little bit more flexible before hanging up.

I wonder if that £12 will show as refunded on next months statement......

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