Wow!

I didn't blog at ALL last month.

How remiss of me!

So thiis is going to be another one of those catchup posts where I ramble incoherently LOL. If you read my blog then you're used to those. If you haven't been here before; then I'm sorry!

So......let's start with the socks. I am up to speed with the A-Z sock challenge and I have two more pairs left to knit; Y and Z.

I have knit two extra pairs (I think) for myself, a pair for Claire, done a test knit and I'm currently test knitting another (knee high) sock.

I'm still planning on taking the 52 pair plunge next year - this is going to leave me with little, if any, time to knit (or spin) anything else! Which is a shame as the Double Knitting technique is trying to seduce me at the moment.

Have you guys seen this (rav link)?

It's totally amazing and I really really want to knit it! There's another one as well which is cats eyes that I want to knit too!

I was tempted for a while to blow the 52 pair plunge off for a year, but those rascally socks just keep calling to me!!

OK.......what else.......Alex is still battling his depression, he sees a doctor regularly and is on medication. The crashes are still bad, but he's trying his best to cope with them. He has recently decided to stay away from Facebook which I think is a really good thing as it was the root of a lot of his problems!

Kyle is now living next door with my mother - he had a huge fight with Alex and it descended into physical violence which left Alex covered in scratches and bruises and a slight concussion! We decided that him staying next door for a while would be the best thing for everyone concerned and him being there also puts my mind at rest; my mum turns 70 next year and I worry about her being on her own!

I got up one morning and went to turn on the vivarium light - which is the first thing I do every morning - and I noticed one of the vents on the back of the vivarium had been popped out. My stomach dropped and I immediately opened the viv and checked the hide.

Daffydd was gone!

We have searched the house, but we can't find him anywhere. I'm hoping that he has curled up somewhere and is sleeping as the house has been chilly, but now I've put the heating on he may still appear!

I am in the process of introducing Star & Frank to Albert at the moment, they seem completely uninterested in each other, so I shall put them all in together this week! Fingers crossed Albert doesn't eat them!!!

Dreadlock update: My locs will be 5 months old in a couple of days and are doing very well! The pink didn't hold so well, so I overdyed the whole lot with purple a week or so ago. I like the way it looks, but my poor scalp is suffering from the way I've abused it!

Forgive the state of me in this picture, I was shattered!

On Thursday; Mum, Alex, Isis and I packed ourselves into the camper and drove up to Kerry's. We camped outside Kerry's on the Thursday night then on Friday 2nd December, we left Alex and Isis with Kerry while Mum and I caught the train into London.

We met up with Claire and Steve and headed into the Royal Albert Hall to watch the Aegon Masters Tennis!

I saw Pat Cash, Henri Leconte, John McEnroe, Mark Phillipoussis, Andrew Castle, Mansour Bahrami, Peter McNamara, Fabrice Sontoro, Jeremy Bates, Richard Krajicek, Mikael Pernfors, Virginia Wade, Annabel Croft & Tim Henman.

It was absolutely awesome, we watched the afternoon session then Claire and Steve left, Mum and I stayed for the evening session which was originally billed to be John McEnroe vs Ivan Lendl, but Lendle pulled out so Richard Kracijek took his place. It was a really good match.

Unfortunately, the two matches in the afternoon both went to tie-breaks, so the invitational doubles with Bahrami (the main reason I had gone) was only on for half an hour as they had to prepare for the evening session. I was rather gutted, but got some fabulous photos.

I'll post them tomorrow when I can get access to the computer - it's one of the few things I don't like doing on the iPad LOL

But I did get this fab shot of Mansour Bahrami which I will post for you for now :D

So.......what've you been up to?

I'm sorry.....

I'm sorry I haven't been here, I'm sorry I haven't posted.

Things have just been SO hectic!

I'm still furiously knitting away on the A-Z Sock Chellenge - I'm currently working on my R socks and I've also managed to knit Claire a pair of plain socks and last week I knit Kai-Mei socks for myself!

It's becoming an obsession! Even when I've finished the socks we're supposed to be knitting, I just want to knit another pair of socks! I have 42 sock patterns saved on my iPad, several sock knitting books and some queued on Ravelry that I haven't bought or downloaded yet!

I haven't considered a shawl all year!

Things have been quite hectic here lately. I can't remember if I've ever posted about Alex and his mood swings, they're something he's fought with most of his life. They're a way of life for us and when something is a way of ife; you assume everyone knows about it!

Alex has always suffered from mood swings, this has affected many things - most noticeably his education and his ability to retain friends (kids just aren't emotionally or psychologically equipped to deal with a friend who goes bananas every couple of months!) He's seen doctors, paediatricians and counsellors. None of it helped and one 'expert' wrote a letter to our family GP stating that Alex did not suffer from depression!

Well, we decided at that point to just try and cope on our own and to the most part, we have. But as he's gotten older, it's gotten harder and several months ago it got a whole lot worse.

To cut a long story short; his latest crash didn't just last a week or so as it normally would - it started about a couple of months or so ago and didn't go away. He has had suicidal thoughts and fought with (and lost) the majority of his friends.

He's had an emotional breakdown.

I took him to our GP's office and they immediately referred him to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services), as it was Friday evening and there isn't an under 18 crisis team here, the adult team was on alert for him all weekend until we could see our GP again and push the referral through on the Monday morning.

CAMHS saw him within two weeks. They have referred him for 'talk therapy', have confirmed that Alex is bi-polar and are debating what medication to put him on.

He has good days and bad days, on good days I can leave him, go out and life is relatively normal.

On bad days, I don't leave his side!

Wow, it's been ages since I posted. In some ways loads of stuff has happened, but in other ways it feels like nothing's happened - ya know?

My friend Debs came over for the day as were attending a talk at Shanklin Theatre by Chris Packham - remember him? He's the cute one from The Really Wild Show! He's much cuter in real life!

Debs & I headed back to Southampton after as the following day we were going to Unravel in Farnham Maltings! Unravel is a craft fair, dyers and sellers of yarn and fibre attend to sell their stuff.

I bought some gorgeous fibre - unfortunately, I found out later the stuff reeks of lavendar and lavendar gives me migraines. I'm avoiding it at the moment in the hopes the smell wears off! Once my new fancy shower bath is fitted and I get my craft room back (the bath was stored in the craft room!) then I'll open the batt and unplait the roving to air it out properly!

I really wish dyers wouldn't add scent to their stuff!

I also ordered a large project bag from The Bothered Owl.

I bought some more 70% Alpaca/30% Merino - another 500g - this time in black! It's absolutely scrummy and spins better on a Double Drive wheel than it does on a Scotch Tension one!

Look at this if you don't believe me!

Unfortunately, just after that; I found Daniela's stall. The woman is pure evil! She makes the most gorgeous, colourful, sparkly batts and I wanted them all! I had only recently received 2 in the post and ended up buying six more at Unravel!

The best bit about the whole day though was spending it with old friends - Debs and Helen - and meeting friends face to face finally; I finally got to meet Claire! We had our photo taken and you can see it in Claire's Flickr Stream.

The following day was Alex's 15th birthday - although to look at him you'd think he was a lot older. He's currently standing at 6ft 5in and has quite a heavy moustache!

We went to the cinema and then for a KFC afterwards and the following Saturday he had a party here at home while I went clubbing.

Apparently he was quite sick LOL!

I bought a new bath at the beginning of the year, one of those fancy curved baths so that you can put a shower in one end. Unfortunately, after buying it; I couldn't afford to fit it so it's been sat in my craft room. Kyle finally took pity on me and is paying for the plumber to fit it! I have to pay for an electrician to come and hook up the jacuzzi part of it though!

A few months ago I received an e-mail from a woman called Heather asking where our craft group meets, I sent her the e-mail along with my mobile number and thought nothing more of it. A couple of weeks later, we'd just arrived at The Chequers Inn and my old midwife walked through the door!

I said Hi, gave her a hug and asked what she was doing in that neck of the woods - turns out she's the Heather that had e-mailed me!

She's recently expressed an interest in learning to spin, so she came over this week and I taught her as best I could. I've let her borrow Trinity to practice on.

She's also taken my unused 18 month old sewing machine away to give it a service and has promised to give me sewing lessons in return for the spinning lesson!

In a few short weeks, we'll be in Italy! I can't believe it's come around so quickly! Mum and I got talking about it in Norway and decided we'd go this April. The ferry off the Island and the Eurotunnel have all been booked, we've just got to pack the van and get going! We'll be gone most of the month!

I've got a new chair! It's gorgeous!! Italian leather in cream, a recliner but it's all squishy and firm and soooo comfortable. As an added bonus, after it was finally delivered; I discovered it's the perfect height for spinning!

I can't wait until the bath is completely fitted, all the bits and pieces are out of my craft room so I can get in there, have a really good clean up and move my chair into the room!

I'm ploughing on with the sock challenge and have, so far, managed to finish one pair by the cast on date of the next pair! Unfortunately, I have managed no other knitting whatsoever; if I'm not knitting socks, I'm spinning Alpaca/Merino! I'm not sure how well I'll stay on track once we go away - I can't knit in the car as I don't travel well so I'll probably do most of the driving anyway and by evening I'm just too damn tired to do more than eat and sit! We'll see!

I have mastered knitting without looking now, this is excellent as I've really missed reading since I got back into my knitting. I did manage it while making Kyle's scarf, but that was just garter stitch in chunky yarn. I can now knit while knitting with sock yarn (as long as the pattern isn't too complicated) so I might have a go at knitting while in the van as a passenger!

Sounds like the plumber has finished moving the sink so I best go off and investigate his handiwork!

Speak soon and keep knitting, spinning, crocheting, dyeing, whatever it is that you do ☺

Breakdown?

Weird day.

Everything started off great. I got up and we packed some stuff into the camper for out holiday next week (we're going camping in Scotland).

Then Alex and I went into town to return some library books and get some shopping. While there we got a new string for his guitar and put a deposit down on something better quality.

I bought some dye - I dyed my hair purple a few weeks ago and now it's a dull red colour.

When we got home I had a house full of teenagers. I had a bit of a moan that Matt was upstairs in his room when he was supposed to be downstairs (he'd agreed to look after Isis) and that they'd been smoking in the porch with the window open instead of the door - again!

Then Matt dyed my hair and we watched the premier of the new season of Doctor Who.

Eventually Matt and his friends all went out, I dyed Alex's hair (plum tint) and ordered a takeaway, took Mum to work, took Isis & Kim for a quick walk.

When I got back, I sat down to work on my crochet hexagon blanket and almost immediately Alex asked if I'd give him a hand to change his bed.

This is something we fight about on a regular basis - I don't mind helping him, but during the day! Asking me in the evening just starts a fight, we can never find a sheet to fit, or a duvet cover (I'm woefully short on bed linen now everyone seems to have a double bed, but I've got enough single bed sized for a hospital!). But I sighed and agreed to help him.

When I got up my sewing needle disappeared down between the cushions.

I just flipped!

I pulled the sofa out, hunted around, vacuumed up all the dust that had accumulated under there (where does it come from?), screamed at Alex who screamed back at me.

Eventually, Alex took himself off for a walk to calm down and in a fit of temper I pulled the king sized sheet off Matt's double bed (he'll get it in the neck when he gets home!) and put it on Alex's bed (pulling my back in the process!). Alex had the grace to thank me when he got home.

Then next thing I know (I don't even know how it happened), I was screaming at Kyle about how he doesn't keep his cats litter tray clean enough and that his room is disgusting and smells due to the litter tray. Kyle was screaming at me because I'd refused to let him have friends over to stay while we're away (I don't really know these ppl and I don't want them in the house unsupervised).

He cleaned his tray, I put a duvet cover on Alex's bed, Kyle vacuumed his room. The vacuum made a funny noise, Alex & I went to investigate. Kyle had vacuumed up a piece of paper and caused the cleaner to make an 'elephant noise'.

I was saying something to Kyle about how you can't vacuum up certain things because it clogs it and I sat on his bed.

Right onto the (full) cat water bowl.

I just went ballistic, threw my slippers over the banister, stormed downstairs, stripped my leggings and underwear off (I had a cold wet bum!).

Then I sat down, picked up Isis....and I cried.

I cried and sobbed and sobbed.

Kyle came in and apologised and I was crying so hard, I couldn't breathe properly.

Then Alex came in and gave me tissue and hugged me. Then he persuaded me to get dressed and we went out for a walk.

I don't feel any better and I feel awful for yelling at them both.

I'm having one of those 'I'm a single parent and I'm drowning' moments, I think. It's very very hard, you get very little thanks, it's always your fault, they never seem happy.

There's so much negativity.

So why do we soldier on? Because I love them. I may not always like them, but I love them. I expect they hate me most of the time, but I hope they love me sometimes too. There are moments, a shared laugh, watching them grow, learn and become their own person. Those moments that your kids - the same kids you hated half an hour ago for making you sooooo mad - they remind you that they're the centre of your world and life would be so very different without them.

I don't know why today happened the way that it did, but it did and I can't change it. I've apologised to both Kyle and Alex. I've cried all over Isis. My back hurts. My head hurts.

Today was one of those weird days, where it started out great and someone flicked a switch somewhere and turned everything upside down.

I hope tomorrow is better.

Parenting

I've just had a huge row with Matthew for a comment he's made about my parenting on facebook.

Three years ago, Matthew was arrested for stealing a chocolate bar from our local Co-op. The Co-op is a minute walk away and is our local corner shop.

His excuse was: "I felt shaky and needed sugar."

I was so furious with him that I grounded him for a month. In our house that means you're not allowed out, you're not allowed on the computer or any of the games consoles.

I did this to teach Matt a lesson.

Last week, Alex was arrested for assaulting another teenager at school. I grounded him for a week.

Wildly different groundings and here's why.

Matt was at school at the time, so for six hours a day; he was at school with his friends. He walked to and from school with his friends.

He still defies me in that he smokes in the house, he gets drunk nearly every weekend and he has his girlfriend over to stay. He asks if his friends can stay with a moments notice and I usually don't say a word!

I don't ask him to contribute financially and I don't ask him to do anything around the house as he's rarely here. I paid for all of his college material and didn't ask for him to pay it back when he got his EMA (which is the whole purpose of EMA!) - I don't even ask him to show us what he's learning at that college and cook a meal once in a while!

I have been quite relaxed as a parent with all my children.

Alex is at home with me all day! He is not out wondering the streets, he has not been allowed to meet up with his friends when they finish school and Alex is sorry for what he did! Matt was sorry he got caught!

Matt has deemed me unfair in this decision. Well, when you're the parent Matt, you get to decide!

Home Education

I got a call yesterday; Alex was being suspended from school for fighting.

Apparently some kid called Alex a vampire due to the way he dresses and looks - Alex is 6ft, long dark hair, skinny, wears gothic clothes and a long black leather coat.

When I asked what would happen to the kid, I was told he would get a 'telling off' but that if Alex was going to dress 'wildly different' then he would have to put up with the comments. I stated that Alex wears school uniform like everyone else and is usually looking a lot neater than most of the other lads. The teacher also stated that Alex being "freakishly tall" didn't help!

I informed the teacher that they should be encouraging diversity not singling out those who are different. He then went off on this spiel about how they'd have to monitor everything that anyone says and that if Alex couldn't handle comments; he needed to grow a thicker skin.

I then said the school was two faced; it sends home any child who goes to school with 'unnatural' coloured hair and yet their are two teachers (that I am aware of) who have dyed their hair an 'unnatural' colour. I believe the deputy head mistress has purple in her hair...

While I understand and agree that Alex needs to be punished for physically attacking this lad, I don't understand why he's getting away with calling Alex a name (which he admitted to) but apparently that's ok!

Alex eventually turned up home after a couple of hours and seemed approachable (I've learned that you have to wait a while before you can get any sense out of him) so I enquired about his whereabouts for the previous few hours.

He said he'd been waiting for the school to return his St Christopher necklace.

It turns out he asked his PE teacher to keep it for safety during a PE lesson before half term. He forgot to get it back off her and has asked her for it several times since, everytime she has told him she’s “rather busy at the moment.”

They (the PE dept) have admitted they don’t know where it is. The head of the dept had been e-mailed.

I went absolutely bananas. The St Christopher was left to him by my dad who died on my birthday two and a half years ago, he gave it to the teacher to keep it safe

I phoned the school and was put through to the Headmaster's PA who immediately went to the PE dept to find out what was going on. Then I get a call from some pillock who knew absolutely nothing about it, informed me that Alex had been rude today and that he’d only been down twice for it - um, no, he’s asked for it every time he’s seen that teacher. Pillock says ‘well it was before half term’. I says ‘I don’t care if it was before Christmas!’

Then I asked why he was phoning me instead of Miss PA woman, or even the PE teacher in question. Turns out Pillock isn’t even the head of the department and is just sticking his nose in and Miss PE teacher had, conveniently, gone home. I said I would be at the school at 8am tomorrow morning. He said ‘You have to call and make an appointment like everyone else.’

I said ‘I am, see you tomorrow morning at 8am. Good day to you.’ and hung up. Then I called Reception and told them the same thing.

Miss PA then calls me back, unaware Pillock had called me, she’d been waiting for him to call her but Reception had contacted her after I had called them.

I apologised for being rude to Reception (but not Pillock) she said that going down before Reception was even open is pointless and it would be manic in the morning anyway. She is going to call me before 9am and if she doesn’t I am welcome to go down there all guns blazing. I said I definitely would and that I would take it further if it doesn’t turn up - Alex has already accused this PE teacher of theft so I’m sure they understand what I mean!

She was true to her word, she called me at 8.45am this morning - turns out the Head of the PE dept (the one who was e-mailed) had it all along. It was placed in an envelope and left at the Reception desk for me to collect.

Alex bought up the subject of home tutoring again yesterday - it is something we have thought about on occasion and after his first exclusion from the school (he verbally assaulted a girl, she physically attacked him along with about ten of her friends and he got excluded for 3 days because she's just had a baby!); I said that if there was anymore trouble, I would seriously consider pulling him from the school!

Well, after the teacher called me about the fight this week, he spouted off all the "We'll have to see about getting him some support in school" which is exactly what I requested when Alex started at that school. I had that head-meet-brickwall feeling.

Alex has decided he positively hates it there, he's had enough of the teachers and students and the way the school operates.

So, when I went in this morning to collect his St Christopher, I also left a letter for the headteacher asking for Alex to be removed from the register as he would now be home educated!

I must admit to being terrified about my decision. Alex and I are very close, we can have a right laugh, but I don't know the first thing about home education. I don't know what I should be teaching him and how I go about it. There are loads of websites out there, but they seem to contradict each other in some ways. I suppose it's easier as he's got all the basics down, I just need to find stuff to keep him occupied for the next couple of years!

My son, the writer

I've just received this letter (slightly edited for privacy and copyright):

"Dear Parent/Guardian,

Recently Alex's school submitted some of their pupils' work for Young Writers' Mini Sagas 2009 competition. In the exciting competition, children were asked to write an imaginative mini saga on a theme that inspired them, with the added challenge of using 50 words or less.

Mini Sagas is Young Writers' nineteenth annual creative writing competition and we have received in excess of 30, 000 stories from all over the UK and overseas. Work has been selected for publication based on perception, imagination, expression and creative use of language. I am therefore delighted to let you know that Alex's story, The Jar Of Pickles, has been chosen for publication in Mini Sagas 2009 From The UK. A copy of the book will be kept at the British Library and further libraries across the UK and Republic of Ireland, providing a lasting record of your child's achievement. Information has been sent to the school giving details of Alex's success, and enclosed is a bookmark and certificate to mark Alex's achievement.

Books in this series are attractively laid out A5 softbacks with a glossy, full colour cover, giving children a real sense of pride in their achievement as well as an engaging book to browse and read. They also make a great keepsake for other family members, capturing a snapshot of Alex's work at this age in a format that will last for years to come. Mini Sagas 2009 From The UK is scheduled for publication on 30^th November 2009. Family members are entitled to order before publication at a reduced price.

I'd like to close by congratulating Alex, and hope that this achievement will encourage confident participation in future creative writing. If there is anything you would like to discuss, or you would like further information, please get in touch.

Best Wishes

Angela Fairbrace, Editor"

OH................MY.............................GOD!

Alex had absolutely NO idea that his school was going to do this and I'm over the moon that his work has been chosen for this publication.

If you wish to congratulate Alex (and please do so) you can either leave a comment here or send him a message through his twitter page.

If you want to know more about Young Writers, please click here.

Alex has socks!

I started a pair of socks for Alex absolutely ages ago.

I made one sock...........and it didn't fit!

So I started another one, slightly larger and worked the sock from the top down rather than toe up.................that didn't fit either!

In my despair I had a chat with Joy; the problem seemed to be Alex's heels. The kid has major skinny legs, wide feet and almost abnormal heels, I tell ya!

So we decided I would work a top down sock with a stretchier top, garter stitch short row heel and a 2x2 rib.

Here is the pattern for anyone else with abnormal heels!

Cast on 99 stitches.

Work one round: *k3, p2, k2, p2, rep from * to end

Work next round: *k2tog, p2, k2, p2, rep from * to end. 88 sts.

Work in 2x2 rib until desired length.

Work a short row garter stitch heel.

Work foot of sock with st-st on sole and 2x2 rib on top. Work preferred toe.

Here are the socks!

Pattern: 2x2 ribbed socks
Yarn: KG Egg A La Scullybunbun Sock
Time: 15-07-09 - 2-09-09 (with other projects!)

Recognition

I received a letter last week telling me that there was to be an award ceremony for pupils at Lake Middle School and that Alex was to receive an award.

I was extremely proud and he thoroughly deserves it, he's worked very hard this year to contribute to the school and work on controlling himself.

Here he is receiving his award from Louis Attrill.

Louis won a gold medal in rowing in the 2000 Olympics and he and I went to school together.

Happy Birthday Alex

Today my baby, Alex, turned 13.

Where has all the time gone? Omigosh, what a clichéd saying LOL

Here's a pic of Alex - all 5ft 9ins of him wearing the boots he wanted for his birthday, a close up of the boots - yes, they're New Rocks! There's also a pic of the chocky cake I made mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm